You know what my favorite thing about Spring Break is?

Fighting tooth and nail with my family! It’s definitely the BEST part of my life when I’m unwinding from the stress of a grueling college nightmare! I just love having to treat my 20 year old brother like a petulant 5 year old just to get him to shower after he’s promised to do so every day for the past three (count ‘em, 3!) weeks, or to scoop the litter box on his day so we aren’t fined by the health department again and lose our animals, or to take the dog out when his mother asks him, or to finish the sinkful of dishes that I prepped for him already! I JUST LOVE IT SO MUCH!

But you know what I love the most? (And I’m actually not joking about this one). Getting him to cuss his cholesteral crusted fucking heart at me because I’ve pissed him off SO much by making him act his age. :D Seriously, he NEVER so much as says CRAP, and I got him to say FUCK. Not once, but SEVERAL times. And bitch might have been in there, too. ^_^ How did I do it? I unplugged his computer in the middle of a game after repeating myself for the 15th time about the litter box and the dog who was whining at the door.

Now he’s in the kitchen actually doing the dishes I fucking prepped for him (as well as all the ones that piled up because he didn’t do it last night). Granted, he’s putting them in the dishwasher with the dishes that are already fucking clean because he’s too damn lazy to take the clean ones OUT first, BUT I’ve already gotten him to step away from the computer for half an hour. I’m afraid to push it farther than that because the withdrawals might, ya know, kill him.

Oh wait… IT’S A COMPUTER, NOT FUCKING HEROIN! I was confused, you see, because the people in this house act as if it is, and you’d honestly believe it causes them physical and psychological pain to be away from it. And who knows, maybe it does. Maybe their fat fucking asses have grown into their computer chairs with freakish root like appendages that come out of their ass, and when they try to move it causes agonizing pain. But don’t worry. I’m happy to report that it is NOT contagious, and I will continue to have a life outside of my computer despite being holed up with the freakish butt root people.